The Power of Emotional Co-Regulation: Why Parents Should Model Self-Regulation Strategies in Nature
In today’s fast-paced world, helping children manage their emotions is more important than ever.
Emotional co-regulation, the interactive process where parents or caregivers guide children in managing their feelings, plays a crucial role in a child’s emotional development.
But it’s not just about calming them down in the moment—it’s about teaching lifelong skills that lay the foundation for mental well-being, resilience, and self-regulation.
One of the most impactful environments to foster these skills is the great outdoors, where nature provides a calming backdrop for both parents and children to practice emotional regulation together.
What Is Emotional Co-Regulation?
Emotional co-regulation begins in early childhood and continues throughout life.
It’s the process where a child learns to manage and express their emotions by mirroring the emotional responses of a trusted adult.
By modeling calm, composed reactions to stressful situations, parents and caregivers teach children how to handle big emotions.
Whether it's helping an infant calm down through soothing words, or talking a toddler through a tantrum, the strategies we use as adults help shape how our children will handle their own emotions in the future.
Self-regulation, the ability to manage one's own emotions independently, is the ultimate goal of co-regulation.
Children can't develop this on their own—they need role models to show them how to calm down, problem-solve, and process difficult emotions.
That’s where parents come in, and when parents model self-regulation effectively, children learn these crucial life skills faster and with more confidence.
Why Nature Is the Perfect Setting for Co-Regulation
Forest school programs, or simply spending time in nature, offer the perfect environment for emotional co-regulation to unfold naturally.
In these settings, children encounter a wide range of sensory experiences, from the soft rustle of leaves to the smell of fresh air and the feeling of dirt between their fingers.
These stimuli engage children’s senses in ways that help reduce stress, making it easier for them to manage overwhelming emotions.
For parents, being in nature provides a calming atmosphere where they can model emotional self-regulation without the pressures and distractions of modern life.
When a child is upset, seeing a parent respond calmly in a natural environment—whether by taking deep breaths, sitting quietly, or speaking in a soft tone—can have an instant soothing effect.
These are perfect opportunities to demonstrate how to respond to emotional triggers in healthy ways.
Nature also offers a wealth of co-regulation tools.
The peacefulness of the outdoors can naturally calm anxious or overstimulated children, making it easier to redirect their attention or help them regulate emotions.
Parents can use nature’s simple resources—a gentle breeze, the sound of a running stream, or even holding a rock or leaf to ground their child—to help co-regulate in the moment.
10 Tools to Self-Regulate in Nature
Here are some nature-based self-regulation tools that parents and kids can practice to help manage their emotions and stay calm:
1. Deep Breathing with Nature Scents
Encourage your child to take slow, deep breaths while focusing on the smells of nature around them. Whether it's the scent of fresh flowers, pine trees, or damp earth, engaging their sense of smell can help them center themselves. You can say, “Let’s take a deep breath and smell the flowers.”
2. Grounding with Bare Feet
Walking barefoot on grass, sand, or dirt can help children feel grounded and connected to the earth. This sensory experience brings awareness to their body and helps reduce anxiety by focusing their attention on physical sensations. Invite them to pay attention to how the ground feels beneath their feet.
3. Nature Scavenger Hunt
A nature scavenger hunt can shift a child’s focus away from overwhelming emotions to something positive. Ask them to find smooth rocks, leaves, or small sticks, encouraging curiosity and mindfulness. You might say, “Let’s go find five different types of leaves.”
4. Tree Hugging for Calm
Encouraging kids to hug a tree can be a calming practice. The physical sensation of hugging something solid can provide comfort, and being close to nature has a grounding effect. Tell them, “Let’s see how strong this tree feels when we give it a big hug.”
5. Mindful Nature Walks
Take a slow, quiet walk through a park or forest and encourage your child to notice the details—bird songs, rustling leaves, or the way sunlight filters through the trees. This helps them focus on the present moment, calming their minds. Ask them to name three things they can hear or see.
6. Rock Balancing for Focus
Balancing rocks requires patience and concentration, which can help kids tune into their bodies and focus on something calming. It’s a great way to slow down and redirect their energy. You could say, “Let’s see how many rocks we can balance to build a little tower.”
7. Cloud Watching for Relaxation
Lying down and watching the clouds drift by can be a soothing way for kids to relax. It gives them a moment to breathe and unwind while focusing on the calming movement of nature. Ask them, “What shapes do you see in the clouds today?”
8. Using Water for Calm
Playing with water—whether it’s dipping their hands in a creek, splashing in puddles, or watching ripples form—can be a calming sensory experience. The cool touch of water helps regulate emotions and shift their focus. Encourage them with, “Let’s dip our fingers in the water and feel how cold it is.”
9. Nature Journaling
Give your child a small journal to draw or write about what they observe in nature. This reflective practice can help them process their emotions and calm their minds. Encourage them by asking, “Can you draw the tree we just saw or describe the birds you heard?”
10. Wind Listening
Have your child close their eyes and listen to the sound of the wind rustling through the trees or blowing across an open field. Tuning into nature’s sounds can help them relax and focus on the present. Ask, “What does the wind sound like to you today?”
Each of these activities provides a simple way for kids to connect with nature while learning to regulate their emotions and find peace in their surroundings.
The Impact on Mental Health and Resilience
Emotional co-regulation plays a key role in children's long-term mental health and ability to cope with stress.
When children have learned from a young age how to calm themselves down, navigate frustration, and deal with disappointment, they’re better prepared to face future challenges with resilience.
Through nature play, children not only learn how to interact with nature but also how to manage their emotions in real-world scenarios, like when they become frustrated with a difficult task or experience the excitement of discovery.
Learning self-regulation in these moments helps children build emotional resilience.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from challenges, and it’s a skill that’s nurtured through practice.
Children who have been taught emotional co-regulation by parents or caregivers are more likely to develop a positive self-image and experience fewer behavioral problems as they grow.
They become more capable of managing stress, forming healthy relationships, and making sound decisions, all of which are critical for future success and well-being.
How Parents Can Model Self-Regulation in Nature
The best way to teach emotional co-regulation is by modeling self-regulation strategies yourself. Next time you’re in nature with your child, try these techniques:
1. Model Mindfulness
Show your child how to stay present in the moment by pointing out the sounds of the wind or the feel of grass beneath your feet. Take deep breaths together and talk about how you’re feeling, demonstrating calmness and presence.
2. Use Nature as a Tool
When your child is upset, help them focus on their surroundings. Ask them to find a soft leaf, listen for a bird, or splash water in a creek. This can redirect their attention and help them self-soothe.
3. Talk About Emotions
Name your own emotions and your child’s emotions out loud. Say something like, “I’m feeling calm because I can hear the birds singing. How does that sound make you feel?” This shows your child that emotions are natural and manageable.
4. Encourage Free Play
Let your child take the lead in nature play. Unstructured time in nature gives children the space to explore their own emotional responses to new challenges, while still having the support of a nearby caregiver.
Forest School: A Natural Environment for Emotional Growth
Forest schools and nature play programs are designed to give children the freedom to explore nature and develop essential life skills through play.
In these outdoor discovery spaces, children learn how to face challenges, regulate emotions, and interact with others in a supportive, natural environment.
By encountering new experiences in nature—whether it's climbing a tree or navigating a stream—children learn to manage their emotions and build resilience.
At forest school, emotional co-regulation happens naturally.
Parents and teachers model calm, thoughtful responses to new or difficult situations, and children learn to mirror these behaviors.
The emotional skills children acquire in this environment are critical for their long-term mental health and well-being.
They’ll carry these skills with them as they grow, learning how to face life’s challenges with confidence, empathy, and emotional intelligence.
Building a Foundation for Lifelong Mental Well-Being
Teaching children emotional co-regulation, especially in nature, provides them with the skills they need for a lifetime of healthy emotional expression.
By modeling self-regulation strategies in outdoor environments, parents and caregivers give children the tools to manage their emotions, face challenges with resilience, and develop strong mental health.
Nature offers the perfect setting to cultivate these essential skills, supporting children's emotional growth in a calm and nurturing space.
By combining the beauty of the outdoors with opportunities for co-regulation, we’re not just teaching our children how to calm down in the moment—we’re laying the groundwork for them to thrive emotionally for years to come.
We’re here to help your kids connect with nature:
Written by Ellen Nesbitt. Ellen is a nature play advocate and creative writer with a passion for helping families connect with the outdoors. She is dedicated to exploring ways to nurture children's creativity, independence, wellbeing and love for nature.