Building Resilient and Confident Children… One Failure at a Time
Our culture has become increasingly risk-averse.
Success stories circulate, we’re sold quick pathways to success on every screen, and education is geared towards helping children succeed.
Of course success is good, but perhaps we need to stop and check in if this intense focus on succeeding all the time, in every arena, is actually healthy for us.
In particular, is it healthy for children?
Because I don’t know about you, but some of the biggest and most valuable learning experiences in my life have come from moments that could be perceived as failures.
"When you take risks, you learn that there will be times when you succeed, and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important." ― Ellen DeGeneres
As advocates of risky play, we are passionate about giving children permission to fail.
Too many of us are crippled by such deep-seated perfectionism that we stop ourselves from trying new things, and cut ourselves off from all the learning, growth and confidence that comes from accepting our own imperfections and mistakes and carrying on anyway.
"There is no innovation and creativity without failure. Period." ― Brene Brown
At forest school, children are given the freedom to engage in self-directed learning and creative projects. Forest school leaders are there as a resource for children to draw on.
We’re there to support them on their journey, not tell them where to go.
But sometimes, as learner drivers are bound to do, they get a little wobbly at the wheel and their projects go off the rails.
These are the moments where RESILIENCE is built.
What is resilience?
Resilience is the ability of an individual to adapt to change and stressful situations successfully, in a healthy and constructive manner. It doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is not vulnerable to stress, but that they have the capacity to cope with adverse events. (Sarah Blackwell, Nature Play QLD)
Nurturing resilience is crucial for children’s wellbeing, enabling them to face life's ups and downs with confidence.
Because as much as we never want to see our kids suffer or fail, it’s going to happen. And when it does happen, we want to create such a strong foundation of self-belief, self-esteem, confidence and resilience that these challenges don’t completely shatter them.
Rather, we want them to realise that in challenging times, they have tools they can draw on to get themselves through to the other side, and maybe even turn their failures into fabulous discoveries.
Resilience and Forest School
Forest Schools have proven to be an exceptional environment for fostering resilience in children. Children have the freedom to explore their interests, make their own decisions, and take ownership of their actions.
This sense of control and autonomy builds their self-confidence and instils a belief in the value of their tasks.
Furthermore, forest school is an environment that fosters interconnectedness and community. When children are able to work with peers and adults as part of a team, it creates a profound sense of belonging and establishes positive relationships.
The bonds they form in this natural setting contribute to their emotional and social development, enhancing their ability to cope with life's challenges.
In addition to nurturing resilience, Forest Schools promote emotional, social, academic, cognitive, creative, physical, and vocational competencies. As leaders and parents ourselves, we witness the positive impact of these programs on our children's self-esteem, problem-solving skills, environmental awareness, and motivation to learn.
Forest Schools truly empower our kids to grow into compassionate, caring, and independent individuals.
But don’t just take it from us, research confirms the positive links between forest school and children’s resilience.
Studies conducted in the US and the UK on vulnerable children revealed a significant improvement in their resilience after participating in a forest education program. The children reported better teamwork, conflict resolution skills, and emotional fortitude. (Sarah Blackwell, Nature Play QLD)
Forest School offers boundless opportunities for our children's growth. By engaging them in meaningful tasks, providing them with autonomy and a sense of connection, we can set the stage for resilience to flourish naturally.
AND every time we do this, we remind ourselves too that it’s ok to fail.
Together, we can re-frame these experiences as learning opportunities, and redefine what it means to be successful. Perhaps, true success is maintaining a sense of wellbeing in both challenging and supportive situations.
Fostering resilience one failure at a time
To help with this, check out these 6 things to say to kids when their projects fail:
1. Acknowledge their feelings
I can see how upsetting this is for you and it’s ok to feel that way. You worked so hard sawing that bamboo and now it’s cracked.
2. Remind them they’re not alone and they haven’t failed.
That happened to me once as well, and I felt really frustrated. You didn’t do anything wrong, sometimes it’s just what happens when we’re working natural materials.
3. Offer solutions without fixing the problem for them.
I was able to save my project in this way, would you like to see/hear what I did? I’m sure that we can find a way to work through this.
4. Offer context in a way they can understand
A wise friend of mine who teaches people how to survive in really challenging situations shared this saying with me: improvise, overcome, adapt. It means that sometimes when things get hard, we have to get creative and find new ways to solve a problem. Maybe together we can use our imaginations to come up with some new ideas.
5. Remind them that positive outcomes are still possible.
Together, we can figure this out, and I’m here to support you in making that happen. Perhaps this could turn out even better than you first imagined!
6. Praise
Congratulations! You made it through and now look at the incredible things you’ve created. We would not have got here if we’d given up at the first challenge, would we? It might not have been easy, but you can feel really proud of yourself for how you got through the hard bits and made something with your own hands and ideas. Today you showed real resilience.
Together, we can nurture resilient and confident individuals who will bravely face life's adventures, knowing they have the strength and skills to thrive in any situation.
If you’re curious about how forest school can support your child’s resilience, click here to join us in a nature play program in Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast.
Written by Ellen Nesbitt. Ellen is a nature play advocate and creative writer with a passion for helping families connect with the outdoors. She is dedicated to exploring ways to nurture children's creativity, independence, wellbeing and love for nature.