Re-framing Weapons Play
We can try to stop it, but we’ll just be fighting a losing battle.
Kids love primitive weapons, and they love to play. Put them together, and you get weapons play.
If these words send a little shiver down your spine, then this blog is for you.
violence and play
As parents and educators, it’s reasonable to say that we’re all trying our best to raise kids that value communication, collaboration, kindness and community.
So the idea of children acting aggressively, brandishing weapons and play-fighting can make us feel very uncomfortable!
And understandably so. As adults, we know the implications of violence, how harmful it can be for individuals, families, communities and countries. It’s something that we strive to protect our children from. So it can be really challenging when we observe them mimicking these behaviours.
But it’s also important to distinguish between violence and play-fighting.
Child Psychologist Dr Michael Thompson explains it like this: "There is no such thing as violent play. Violence and aggression are intended to hurt somebody. Play is not intended to hurt somebody. Play, rougher in its themes and rougher physically, is a feature of [childhood] in every society on Earth."
Risky play, including the sort of rough and tumble play we observe in weapons play, is an evolutionary learning process whereby children face their fears and adapt to their environment.
It serves an important role in child growth and development, and children need space, permission and support to explore risk through play.
In fact, if they are prevented from exploring risk, it can have a detrimental effect on children’s physical and mental wellbeing.
Crafting, handling and playing with primitive weapons is a form of risky play, and as with all play, children are constantly using it to learn about themselves, each other and the world they inhabit.
Dr Thompson suggests that adults "have a belief — call it an urban myth — that if [children] play this way it will desensitise them to violence and they will grow up to be more violent. But [this] is a misunderstanding of what makes adults violent."
"There is no study that shows a correlation—much less a causation—between childhood play and adult violence," notes Dr Thompson.
According to the research, pretend violence is almost always normal.
"Kids can't always verbalise their ideas, so they deal with themes that intrigue or worry them through play," says Jane Katch, an educator and author.
Katch emphasises how important it is that we don't make assumptions about children’s games. We need to understand that if they’re imagining hurting or killing people, that it doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing to them as it does to us.
You don't have to love your child's fascination with this kind of rough play, but there's no need to panic. "The worst thing we can do is give kids the sense that their fantasy life is bad or wrong," says Katch.
What we don’t want to do is make them feel ashamed of this type of pretend play, because it can then continue in a hidden way making it difficult for us to support them as they grow.
Furthermore, research by Mary Ellin Logue at the University of Maine showed that when aggressive or “bad guy” play was discouraged or banned, children’s energy and vitality also diminished.
"We decided that having banished the bad guys diminished the running and noise level but, also, the pretend play and energy within the classroom. No more extravagant stories were being told and the group of [children] who so passionately desired the bad guys were having more difficulty sustaining long periods of play," Logue and her team reported.
They also observed that when the children's play allowed for demonstrations of courage, power and high levels of activity, the children were less likely to play games involving fighting the imaginary bad guys.
Risky play is a normal and healthy part of child development. In light of the research, it’s also fair to say that play-fighting and weapons play is also a normal, healthy and creative space that children are naturally curious about.
Children need opportunities to feel courageous and powerful. And sometimes, they need opportunities to feel aggressive and evil. Play facilitates a safe space for children to try these qualities on for size, and learn about how it feels, how it makes other people feel, and the consequences of their actions.
If we stop making play a safe space for children to learn about themselves and the complexities of their own nature, then how else are they going to learn? Are they going to be more likely to act out those qualities in a real-world setting?
All of this is not to say that we promote violence or aggression, whether during imaginary play or in any setting. Weapons play and violence is a nuanced issue, and we wish to acknowledge that this is not as simple as viewing all violent play as beneficial.
But we do believe that children have the right to explore reasonable risks.
We encourage them to use tools which could be considered dangerous, but we give them the skills to use them safely. We encourage children to explore dangerous elements like water and fire, but we make sure they have the awareness to look after themselves.
Could we not also allow children the space to explore the risky or “dangerous” elements of their own nature, like aggression and being a “bad guy”, while giving them the support and emotionally intelligent guidance they need to understand that they can play these games without becoming that way?
When we trust children, we empower them with the confidence to engage in their own learning processes.
Perhaps if we re-framed weapons play and imaginary play fighting as a dramatised learning process, we could find a way to be more comfortable with it.
This blog is a continuation of a conversation that we’ve been exploring on our socials @wildlings_forestschool. We want to reiterate that this is an ongoing process of reflection and learning for us as playworkers as well, and that we’re constantly learning just like children are. We appreciate hearing from you and your thoughts on these issues as well, so that as a community we can come up with creative solutions to support children on their journey through risky play.
If you’re curious about exploring risky play with your child, come and join us at one of our award-winning forest school programs in Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast. Click here to find a program that suits you and your child.
Written by Ellen Nesbitt. Ellen is a nature play advocate and creative writer with a passion for helping families connect with the outdoors. She is dedicated to exploring ways to nurture children's creativity, independence, wellbeing and love for nature.